Super Mom vs. Slacker Mom

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst with Amanda Waldroop

Super Mom or Slacker Mom? That is the question. Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst for Proverbs 31 Ministries. We moms can get so caught up in how other people view us that we find ourselves trying to become Super Mom! We want our kids to achieve, succeed, and act right at all times so we look good. We push ourselves to the point of being overly-involved in everything our kids do. Otherwise we fear we’ll be labeled a Slacker Mom.

You know, at the end of the day, I just want to be a good mom for the kids God has entrusted to my care. So, instead of wondering what kind of mom other people think I am; I need to trust that God will help me to do the best I can. God give me just enough grace, strength, love, wisdom, and courage to be the mom you want me to be. If you go back and forth between feeling Super and Slacker, log on to proverbs31.org for tips on how to keep a godly perspective on motherhood.

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Quenching Your Thirst

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope and Tracie Miles

I’m so thirsty! I NEED some water! Hi, I’m Renee Swope with Proverbs 31 Ministries. When I’m thirsty, there’s nothing that satisfies me like a tall glass of water! You know, my physical thirst isn’t the only thing that needs to be satisfied. I also have an insatiable thirst for something that will satisfy my soul. And there’s only one way to truly quench it. The Bible says that our spiritual thirst goes deep into the well of our hearts. Once Jesus met a spiritually thirsty woman and He offered what she needed – Himself. He said that He was the Life Giving Water she needed and promised if she’d accept what He offered, she’d never have a parched place in her heart again. Do you have a spiritual thirst that begs to be quenched? Jesus is the only one who can satisfy it. He wants to spend time with you and listen to your needs so He can meet them. If you want to know more about having a relationship with Jesus, visit for Proverbs 31 ministries at Proverbs31.org.

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Mommy Buddy or Mommy Slave?

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst with Amanda Waldroop

Have you ever made the mistake of being your child’s buddy? Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Children long for love and acceptance, but parenting expert John Rosemond says too many kids think their mothers are obligated to give them whatever they want! Becoming a buddy to our children teaches them that love is what others give or do for them and that any misbehavior is OK.

Kids actually feel more secure when they’re given solid rules and can learn the difference between right and wrong. Fuzzy rules that are inconsistently enforced because of a child’s emotional response are like shifting sands that provide no stability. Some parents avoid setting rules for their kids because it’s hard to enforce them or because they want their children to view them as fun. But this parenting thing is about doing what’s best for our kids. And, setting boundaries has many positive benefits: emotional security for them and restored emotional sanity for Mom and Dad! For more parenting tips, log on to proverbs31.org.

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Lysa’s Blog

My Father’s Voice

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Tracie Miles

Do you recognize God’s voice? Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 ministries. One time my family was traveling on an airplane and our flight was really full. The seating was limited, so we weren’t all able to sit together. After take off my eight-year-old looked at me and said “Mom, I hear dad’s voice!” I was surprised he could pick out his father’s voice above all the different noises on the plane. As I looked out the window I wondered, “How well do I know my heavenly Father’s voice? Can I pick it out over all the other noises that consume my thoughts every day?” God wants to speak to us. So, it’s important that we’re able to identify His voice over all the others. The best way to recognize His voice is by reading our Bible so we can hear Him often. Then, no matter where we are, when we hear Him speak, we’ll be able to say, “Hey, that’s my Father’s voice!” To learn more about hearing and recognizing God’s voice, visit Proverbs 31 ministries at proverbs31.org.

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Discovering My Child’s Hidden Talents

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Marybeth Whalen

“Mommy, mommy, look what my pony can do!” my daughter Brooke exclaimed to me one day. Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Brooke had discovered that her little toy pony had magnets in its feet and could stick to the refrigerator. After I appeared appropriately impressed, she scampered off to play, and left me wondering: What can my little girl do that I don’t know about? Do I need to dig deeper to discover my child’s hidden talents and unknown qualities? What am I missing about my kids in the busyness of every day life? I can discover what my kids can do by connecting with them daily. I need to talk with them on a heart level and hear what their dreams are. I need to discover what they can do that I never knew before. With God’s help, I can see them as He created them to be. To learn more about connecting with your kids, visit Proverbs 31 Ministries at www.proverbs31.org.

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Spoiled Milk

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope and Tracie Miles

It only takes one swallow of sour milk to realize it’s spoiled! Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Milk usually spoils when it’s left out of the refrigerator for an extended period of time, or when it’s not kept at the right temperature. Well, sometimes I feel like my heart is just like spoiled milk!

If I don’t keep it fresh by reading God’s words in the Bible and giving it the right atmosphere for growth, my heart can spoil and develop impatience and bitterness. I hate to think of what my family would say if you asked what happens when my heart spoils. First my attitude gets sour and critical. Then, my words get sarcastic and I get too focused on getting my to-do list done.
The best way to prevent my heart from spoiling is to spend time reading my Bible, hanging out with people who love God, and doing things that show God’s love through my actions and words. For more ways to keep our hearts from spoiling, visit Proverbs31.org.

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You Want Me to Promise You What?

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst and Amanda Waldroop

What kinds of expectations did you walk down the aisle with? Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Unmet expectations can create issues for couples. Maybe we should have just written out our vows specifying word-for-word our expectations for marriage. Mine would have gone something like this: Promise that you will provide me with a house that has a white picket fence and window flower boxes. I want you to watch chick-flicks with me and get emotionally involved in the character’s lives. And promise that you will tolerate any and all rapid mood swings and demands for chocolate …you get the picture. It may sound ridiculous, but many women expect things like this, while their spouse has absolutely no clue. Then, miscommunication leads to frustration and a rift develops between them. Commit to discussing your desires regularly so that communication and trust remain strong. And don’t forget to give lots of grace. For more marriage ideas visit proverbs31.org

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Order of Love

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Tracie Miles

Sometimes I wonder how well I’m prioritizing the important things in my life. Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Alex loved sleeping with stuffed animals. He had everything from a tiny little puppy to a huge teddy bear. And, he alternated them to give each animal equal time in his bed. One night when Alex’s mom went to tuck him in, he was meticulously lining all the animals in a row. He said he had lined them up in the order that he loved them. Alex’s mom wondered how one animal could be more deserving of love than another, but it also made her think about how she prioritized the important things in her life. If she lined up all the things that were precious to her - what order would they be in? Would God be number one, or would she first consider her job, her family, or her other responsibilities? That question made her realize maybe she needed to make some adjustments. For more encouragement on balancing your priorities, visit Proverbs 31 Ministries at proverbs31.org.

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What’s That Smell?

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Marybeth Whalen

Have you ever noticed that smells can trigger certain memories or feelings for you? Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries. The other day I baked a batch of brownies and very soon the entire room was filled with the sweet aroma of chocolate—yum! As I thought about the power of this particular smell, I thought of other aromas that I respond to: the smell of my favorite scented candle, a room that has just been cleaned with lemon-scented cleanser, and cinnamon toast baking in the oven all came to mind. All of these smells make me think of home and comfort. Our lives can also be a fragrant aroma. The Bible says we are the aroma of Christ. It goes on to describe us as having “the fragrance of life.” So how do I make sure that I am giving off a fragrance of life? I must spend time with God and let Him reveal to me daily how to make my heart attitude and actions smell sweet. It’s a choice we all have to make. To learn how to sweeten the scent of your life, go to www.Proverbs31.org.

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Thermometer vs Thermostat

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope and Tracie Miles

When it comes to making a difference in our communities are we thermostats or thermometers? Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. A thermometer simply measures the temperature, but a thermostat changes the temperature. When I think about the difference between these two, I have to ask myself which one describes me. Do I simply adjust to my surroundings, or do I change them?

All of us can impact the people around us and make a difference in the world. But it’s so much easier to simply blend in and manage our own busy lives than to try to make a difference in other people’s lives. Yet, God’s tells us to be His hands and feet by reaching out to those in need. So, maybe we can send a card to a widow, run an errand for someone who’s sick, make a meal for a single mom, send a gift anonymously, or simply return the grocery cart for someone. For more ideas on how we can make a difference in our world, visit proverbs31.org.

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I Don’t Want to be A Big Girl!

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

Recently, tears flowed as my youngest daughter told me, "I don't want to be a big girl!" Hi I’m Lysa TerKeurst for Proverbs 31 Ministries.

When I asked her why she said, "Well, everyone keeps talking about how my 9th birthday is coming up in just a few days and how I'll be such a big girl. And then I'll have to LEAVE and go to college and it's just all stressing me out.” I assured her that college was a long way off and she could be my little girl for several more years. Then as quickly as all that emotion swept into her bedroom, it was gone. The problems of the world now solved!

Yes, being a mom can be tiring and monotonous. But tangled around all the doing is a gift of being. Being there to witness a person grow, discover, learn, and become is such an incredible thing. For more Mom encouragement, log on to Proverbs31.org.

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SONshine

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Paula Friedrichsen

Freshly cut roses are kept cold to keep them from blooming. This way, once they’re exposed to warmth and sunshine, they open up. Hi, I’m Renee Swope with Proverbs 31 Ministries. I’ve found that, in the same way warmth and sunlight help flowers bloom, appreciation and validation cause my husband’s personality and strengths to bloom. Disapproval and critical remarks only shut him down, not change him. And, worse, they push him away emotionally.

I don’t think I’m alone in this. When we start to value the differences between us we can all develop an appreciation for our mates’ good qualities—instead of what happens to be irritating us at the moment. The Bible says we should be humble, gentle, and patient, treating each other with love. And, when we treat our husbands with love, it’s like we’re adding sunshine to their day and encouraging them to bloom in the way God intended. For more encouragement, log on to proverbs31.org.

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No Bad Mom Awards

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

Sometimes I feel like if they handed out a bad mom award, I’d definitely win! Hi I’m Lysa TerKeurst for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Last week, I forgot to turn in my Parent Volunteer Log so my kids missed out on getting something at school they really wanted. I felt so awful that I wrote about it on my blog and asked readers to share their bad mommy moments so I wouldn’t feel so alone. That night as I sat to read the comments posted, I started laughing so hard. One lady said she got a note sent home by the school that her daughter’s lunch was inedible due to bugs in her granola bar! I felt bad for her but it sure made me feel better. That’s the beauty of not going it alone in this adventure of motherhood. If you’d like some “been there done that” encouragement from some moms who know what you’re going through, check out the Proverbs 31 Ministries speakers’ blogs at Proverbs31.org. I’ll meet you there.

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Celebrating Regular Romance

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Paula Friedrichsen

What comes to mind when we hear the words “Valentines Day”? Flowers…candy…jewelry? Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. This year, maybe we’re hoping our husbands plan a romantic getaway to a quaint Bed and Breakfast – without the kids, of course! Or maybe we’re secretly dreaming of finding a diamond ring in a glass over a fancy, candlelit dinner.

Well, if any of these things happen to you on Valentines Day, I want to be the first to congratulate you on having a very romantic husband! To the rest us, I’ll offer a little encouragement.

We may not be married to Prince Charming… But, then, no one is except Cinderella! While the men on TV commercials do things like light candles and fill bubble baths for their wives, regular guys like our husbands are probably busy paying the car insurance or mowing the lawn. So, let’s make this Valentine’s Day special by celebrating regular romance with our regular guys. For more encouragement, visit proverbs31.org.

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Paula Friedrichsen’s Website, www.PFMinistries.com

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Getting Out the Door in the Morning

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

Do you ever feel like you might tear your hair out in the morning trying to get everyone out the door? I know I do! Hi I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries. The other day I was SO frustrated as I told one of my teenagers for the tenth time that we had to go. The other kids were in the car waiting and with each second that passed I felt my blood pressure rising. I finally marched into the house and announced I was leaving in one minute with or without her. The minute came and went and still no daughter. So, I simply drove away! And you know what? I felt empowered. I let the consequences scream so I didn’t have to. Now, I realize that won’t work with a toddler. You can’t just drive off and leave little ones behind. But, there’s something to be said for establishing clear consequences for irresponsibility and then sticking with them! For more encouragement as a mom, log onto Proverbs31.org.

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A Marriage Full of Warmth

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Paula Friedrichsen

These days it’s cheaper and easier to buy a new toaster, TV, or blender, than it is to have the old one repaired! Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. When an appliance or gadget breaks in my house, we usually go out and replace it with a newer model.

Yet when it comes to marriage—newer is not necessarily better. With Valentine’s Day coming up let’s remind ourselves of the benefits of married love. In her book, The Man You Always Wanted, Paula Friedrichsen reminds us that romance novels and chick flicks focus on the thrilling stages of falling in love. But, you know, the early stages of romance don’t compare to the security of a committed relationship!

Married love may not always burn with the heat and passion of that first stage of romantic love, but it also doesn’t burn out easily. And the consistent warmth it provides is there on the coldest days and darkest nights. For more marriage encouragement, visit Proverbs 31 Ministries at proverbs31.org.

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Jonah’s Big Fish

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

Sometimes it feels like our troubles are swallowing us whole! Hi I’m Lysa TerKeurst for Proverbs 31 Ministries. I was just reading about Jonah in the Bible and thinking how horrible it would be to be swallowed by a fish and spend days in its belly. But then it occurred to me, if Jonah hadn’t been swallowed by that fish, he would’ve drowned! God used what seemed horrible to save Jonah’s life. So, when we’re facing a really tough situation maybe we could ask ourselves if God could be possibly be using this to save our lives. I don’t know what you’re facing, but I’ve been through enough hard things in my life to know that God can always bring something good from it. And just like Jonah, it’s so good to know that we won’t sit around in the belly of the fish forever- there’s always more to the story than what we can see. So, let’s hang in there and hold on to God’s promise to rescue us! For more encouragement visit Proverbs 31.org.

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Expressions of Love

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope

I love to get and give candy, cards and gifts in February. It’s such a fun time to express my heart to those I love most. Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. I’ve been thinking about how I can shower affection on the ones I love. Besides my husband, my kids, my parents and my close friends, I want to find creative ways to show God how much I love Him! It’s hard to give God physical gifts, but we can give him gifts from our hearts. My friend Melissa told me about a Valentine’s Day card she bought for her husband but ended up giving to God instead.

Here’s what it said: In this stressful world, yours is the presence that quiets me, the voice that calms me, the touch that comforts me, the loves that helps me remember what is most important each day. You are everything to me!

What a great way to show God our love; let’s buy HIM a Valentine’s Day card! For more ways to express your love this month, visit proverbs 31.org.

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It’s Not an Issue

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

My birthday was coming up and I knew exactly what I wanted…a new set of luggage! Hi I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries.

So, I told my husband my brilliant gift idea. I even said that red would be a great color for because it would stand out on the baggage claim belt. Well, my gift arrived just in time to pack for a trip early the next morning.

However, the three pieces of luggage were in three DIFFERENT SHADES OF RED! Clearly, his definition of the word SET was a bit different than mine.Well, you'll be proud of me. I smiled and hugged and wiped a tear (though not for the reason he thought!) And I toted that mismatched set with a chuckle in my heart for years! Why? Because in the grand scheme of things- did it really matter? I’m learning that not everything needs to made into an issue and my marriage is better for it. For more marriage encouragement, log on to Proverbs31.org.

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Welcome Neighbor!

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope

How many of us actually know our neighbors? Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. These days it seems like families move all the time. I’ve noticed that my neighbors are constantly changing, and most of them don’t have friends or family in the area. So, the closest friend nearby is…me!

I remember what it was like to be new in town. It was lonely and everyone seemed too busy to need a friend. So, I’ve been looking for ways to make my neighbors feel welcomed. Here are some things I’ve done:

First, I acknowledge their presence by simply waving hello. Then a few days later I bring over a basket of cookies with a welcome note tucked inside. I include a list of our favorite nearby restaurants and phone numbers for those that deliver. Sometimes I leave a map of the neighborhood and recommendations for shopping, doctors and dry cleaners. And, oh yeah, I always try to smile when I see them. For more encouragement in your Everyday Life, visit Proverbs31.org.

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Friendship Fun

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

I was talking to my friend, the Gourmet Chef, today. I call her that because she’s always making something wonderful! Hi I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries. Two weeks ago it was Baklava. Last week, chocolate covered cherries. I thought those were only made in factories! And, today she was making something fancy with Molasses. I said, “Oh yeah, I’ve got a tube of that!”

Obviously, my talents lie outside the kitchen. Sometimes I feel inadequate when I struggle in an area where others are gifted. But I’ve learned to stop beating myself up! I get advice from those who naturally excel in areas where I don’t. And, when I discover something I’m good at I can help someone else. Isn’t that the beauty of friendship? My friend, the Gourmet, often asks for my help with public speaking. And she’s taught me that Molasses comes in a jar and there are some yummy things that can be made with it. For more encouragement log on to Proverbs31.org.

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