Dating In Marriage

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope

Finding time to go on a date with my husband is so hard these days! Hi, I’m Renee Swope with Proverbs 31 Ministries.Planning a date is especially challenging with kids and busy schedules, but boy is it worth the effort! Recently my mom kept our kids overnight so we could spend uninterrupted time together. At first we talked about the usual things: kids, finances, jobs, and planning. By mid afternoon, our conversation changed. JJ asked me about what my favorite vacation that we’d taken together. I asked him what he’d like to do this year that he’s never done. It was fun to relax and talk about things we’d never shared before.

I was so thankful that we’d set aside time for each other. It hasn’t always been this way. It’s taken practice and commitment. But after 15 years, we’re both glad we still have things in common and enjoy spending time with each other. For more marriage encouragement, visit Proverbs 31.org.

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Being Thankful

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

Last night I was editing my son's college term paper when something jumped out and grabbed my heart. Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries.

Jackson's paper was about the corruption and greed that caused the civil war in his native land- Liberia. He lived in devastating conditions because of this war.

During one part of the paper, he described what it felt like to be naked digging through the trash looking for thrown away food and considering it a treasure.And yet, despite the horrific conditions of his childhood, there was an unexplainable thread of peace woven through his story. A powerful peace centered in the awareness that God was always present.

I doubt many of us will find our treasure in thrown away food today. But will we notice even the smallest gifts? Will we pause to offer a word of thanks? I’ve learned that when I’m truly thankful is when I’m truly peaceful! For more visit Proverbs 31.org.

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Handprints of Love

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope and Renee Myers, She Speaks Graduate

How quickly do I wash off the handprints my kids leave on my walls and windows? Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. My friend, another Renee, came home from a weekend with her kids visiting her mother-in-law, Jeanette. While they were talking on the phone weeks later, Jeanette told Renee, “I haven’t washed the windows since you and the kids were here. I love seeing my grandson’s handprints and can’t bring myself to wash them off.”

Renee knew Jeanette was a great housekeeper who liked everything clean, but she decided to forfeit perfection so she could preserve the memories of her grandchild being in her home.

Hmmm…I could learn a lot from her. I get so busy trying to be a good mom and keeping up with everything that I overlook those precious “handprint moments” with my own sons. I guess this encourages me to stand back and cherish them just like Jeanette did.

For more encouragement, visit proverbs31.org.

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Forgotten Birthdays

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

Has your family ever forgotten your birthday? Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries. It’s true that we Moms are typically the planners in the home. We plan the parties. We buy the gifts.

So the problem is when our birthdays roll around each year and we’re supposed to be celebrated … well, things get a little complicated. For years I was often internally grumpy on my birthday. I resented the last minute obligatory flowers and quick bought card from the grocery store.

But this year I celebrated my best birthday ever. Why? Because I decided ahead of time it would be. I chose to find great joy in the recycled gift. And I teared up at the genuine sentiments of love scribbled all over my card. I guess you could say, I chose to relish in the gift of perfect imperfections. And it was great. For more, visit Proverbs 31.org.

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The Moon

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope and Amy Brooke

Sometimes things just aren’t what they seem! Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. As a child, my friend Amy loved to look up at the moon and admire its bright light. But when she learned the moon was just a big rock without any light of its own, Amy was so disappointed!! It was so beautiful in the dark sky. She knew there had to be more to it than that.

Not long ago it dawned on Amy that there is more to it. The moon isn’t just some big rock. God put it in just the right place at just the right angle, orbiting at just the right speed to perfectly reflect the sun's light for billions of people around the world! Maybe God’s using the moon as a reminder that even in the dark of night the sun is still shining. And, to remind His followers that we reflect the light of God’s son as we show His love to others in their darkest moments.

For more encouragement, visit Proverb31.org.

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Being a Parent Is Tough

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

I think one of the hardest things about being a parent is my tendency to try and figure things out on my own. Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries.

Being a parent is tough. At times I’ve felt completely overwhelmed. But I’ve learned that when I go to God with my questions, I can trust His answers. After all, He knows what it's like to deal with disobedient children. He feels our pain and knows our sorrow.

We can’t fight this battle of raising kids today alone. And because we love and follow God, we have power. It comes through crying out to God for help.

Our faith and our prayers are powerful. What are you going through with one of your kids today? Why not take a moment or two and pray right now. It’s the best parenting tip there is. For more visit Proverbs31.org

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Daddy’s Little Princess

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope and Jill Tracey

What did you want to be when you were five? Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. When someone asked my friend, Jill, that question she answered right away…when she was five she wanted to be Daddy’s little princess!

But, she said that the older she got the more detached her daddy became. That led to abandonment when her parents got divorced, leaving a huge hole in her heart. For years Jill tried to fill that hole in all the wrong ways.

Then someone shared something special from the Bible: The Lord your God is with you…He will take great delight in you…He will sing with joy because of you.

Jill couldn’t believe it – how could God delight in her? She’d never been special in her father’s eyes, so it seemed impossible to believe she had worth in God’s eyes. But I’m happy to say that over the years God has restored my friend’s sense of value – she’ll tell you that the price was high but it was worth it!

For more encouragement from Proverbs 31 Ministries, visit proverbs31.org.

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This script was written by my friend and colleague, Jill Tracey. Find out more about Jill on Facebook or her Blog.

Our Portion

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

While I don't have all the answers for keeping everything balanced, I have discovered something that’s really helping me!

Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries and I’ve learned to simply ask God to be a part of every day.

Wherever we fall short, we have a choice to make. We can label ourselves a failure or we can let Jesus do something good with the mess we’ve made.Life can be hard. And as we navigate the ups and downs of each day, God is completely able to fill in our gaps.Every day I simply offer up my willingness to follow Him. "Here it is, God, my willingness. I am willing to do what you ask of me, but here’s where I know I fall short....So, will You please help me in this area?"

Depending on God in this way has made me a more balanced woman who’s more connected to Jesus. For more encouragement, click on Lysa’s blog when you visit Proverbs 31.org.

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A Recovering Perfectionist

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope and Tasha Via

I don’t know about you but I’m a recovering perfectionist! Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. As a perfectionist I tend to think that performing well increases my value which leads to all kinds of crazy behaviors.

My friend Tasha and I were talking about how we try to prove our worth to our husbands. When they get home from work we start spouting off a long list of things we've "accomplished" that day, as if our worth to them is wrapped around what we've achieved. I confessed that I even tell my kids when I do something for them, too.

Tasha shared something she read in the book Character Makeover, by Katie Brazelton and Shelley Leith. It said, “Worth is not something we earn or achieve…We have worth because God created us, redeemed us and loved us."

What a relief. I’m so glad I don’t have to be perfect to earn God’s love – aren’t you?
For more encouragement visit Proverbs 31 Ministries at Proverbs31.org.

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A Tour of My Home

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

Let me take you on a tour of my home. Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries. In my kitchen you’ll find a blackened pot of scalded rice. Actually every pot in my kitchen has scald marks, melted handles, and broken tops. You will also find no forks. They’ve all gone missing. And, the sour cream has grown mold.

Then around the corner is a laundry room the size of a closet that stays a mess. Down the hall you will trip over a pile of shoes. The mail collects. The cut coupons go unused.

And in the middle of it all is a mom who sometimes wonders if she’ll survive this wonderfully crazy life with 5 kids. The rest of the world will call those of us that smile in the midst of scalded pots, thrown away forks, and soured sour cream foolish. But because of Jesus’ grace in me, I call it good. For more, visit Proverbs31.org.

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Fear of Rejection

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope and Glynnis Whitwer

I HATE rejection! Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Most of us avoid situations where we might get rejected. Even if we feel like God wants us to do something, the thought of doing it is hard when we’ve been rejected before.

You know Moses felt this way when God told him to help the children of Israel. He gave God a long list of reasons why he shouldn’t help his people: some didn’t like him, they wouldn’t believe God sent him, and Moses thought he wasn’t a good communicator.

He didn’t want to open himself up to criticism and rejection. But God chose him to lead the Israelites to freedom. And with God’s help Moses went back to Egypt and did just that! He followed God’s plan despite his own fears of rejection.

God saw value and worth in Moses, and you know, He sees that same worth in you and me - despite what others might think.

For more encouragement, visit Proverbs31.org.

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Our Slop Bucket

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

We’re all more alike than we'd care to admit. Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries. There's a bucket inside each of our hearts where hurts are dumped. Little hurts, big hurts, past hurts - they all get dumped into this slop bucket.

We think we're fine because the hurts are contained. But then someone comes kicks that slop bucket with a mean word or two and it spills over.And every word we speak in response carries some of what's in our bucket. Too many of us have let our slop bucket sit and ferment in pride, resistance, and bitterness that cuts off our potential to grow into the person we're designed to become.

You know, if we let Jesus touch our hurts, mixing in mercy, grace, and forgiveness, even slop can turn into a love that’s beyond what we're capable of on our own. For more encouragement visit Proverbs 31 Ministries at Proverbs31.org.

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The Sparkle in My Eye

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope and Jill Tracey

Does my child know that sometimes he’s the reason my eyes sparkle? Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. I was reading an article about parenting and was challenged by this question… do your eyes light up when your child walks into the room? The author talked about how our kids need to know they’re special by the little ways we pay attention to them. It makes them feel secure and confident.

Well, I don’t know if my eyes light up every time one of my sons walks in the room. But, I’ve been trying to make them feel special. Sometimes I’ll surprise them with a take-out lunch in the middle of their school day. Or, I’ll make them their favorite breakfast during the week. Or, I’ll hide an encouraging note in their book bag. I’m also trying to pay close attention to even their small accomplishments. Because to them they’re huge!

Do you have ideas on making kids feel special? I’d love to hear them and share them with other moms, so click on Renee’s blog at proverbs31.org.

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A Proper Gift Exchange

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

Do you know the rules behind a good and proper gift exchange? Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries. Recently, my youngest daughter Brooke was stating the rules for a gift exchange…"Rule number 5: If you get something you don't care for, pretend that you like it.

I couldn’t help but think, "Truer words have never been spoken." And then I started to think about the fine line between being honest and being fake. But instead of faking that we like something, we could learn to purposely find something we do like about the gift... or that woman that gets on our nerves... or our spouse’s comment... or whatever else triggers us. There's always some tiny thread of something we could intentionally focus on and make the smile go from fake to real.

For more, visit Lysa’s blog at Proverb31.org.

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What Matters Most?

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope

Saying no can be really hard for me! Hi, I'm Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Every time I turn around there are more opportunities to get involved in different activities. But, I’ve got to be careful not to over commit so I’ve been looking for ways to decide how to spend my time. In her book, Only Angels Can Wing It, Liz Curtis Higgs offers a few questions I can ask myself before taking on something new.

The first question is - will this activity really matter to me in a week? How about a month from now? Does it satisfy a need for me or for someone I love? Or is there somebody who does this activity better than I do that would be excited to have this opportunity?

Now I don’t go through these questions every time I make a decision. But, when something requires extra time, money, energy or emotions, asking these questions helps me make wise decisions.

For more ideas on balancing your commitments, visit proverbs31.org.

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As I Sat

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

I’ll be honest, for years I struggled during difficult times with what to say when I prayed. Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries. But, I finally found exactly what I needed – if I’m going through something hard, I can pray prayers where I didn’t speak at all.

I can just sit with Jesus, making no suggestions- offering no solutions. Sometimes I have nothing but quiet tears and a heavy heart. But the beautiful thing is the Bible promises when we sit with Jesus like this, the Holy Spirit lifts up the exact right prayers for me.

And eventually, I sense God there and there is peace.

What are you going through today? Whether it’s a difficult issue with one of your kids or financial stress or just feeling overwhelmed by life, I encourage you to sit with Jesus without feeling the need to offer up any words at all. Just sit. For more visit Proverbs31.org.

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Pass It On

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope

You know, sometimes I feel a little guilty about all the things I have when there are so many people in need. Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries.

A few years ago, my friend Carrie decided to consider all the good things she had and then find a way to "Pass it On." Any time she was given something, she’d look for ways to give to someone else in return.

If a friend gave Carrie a book, she’d pass it on - she’d read it and then give it to someone else to enjoy. If someone said something nice to her she’d pass it on - she’d look for opportunities to share a few words of encouragement and make someone else’s day. If someone bought her lunch she’d pass that on too - she’d buy someone else’s lunch that week.

I love the idea of "Passing it On" so I’m going to start giving away more of what I’ve been given. I’d love for you to join me.

For ideas on how you can start “passing it on” visit Proverbs 31 Ministries and click on Renee’s Blog at Proverbs31.org.

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Pursuing God

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

“The more we see God as He is, the more compelled we are to give Him our all.” Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries. I love this quote by Francis Frangipane because the more I learn about God the more I really do want to give him, well, EVERYTHING!

Is it easy to truly release everything to God? No. I’ve often asked, “Are you sure God?”
Over the past several years pursuing God fully has caused me to pull away from some friendships and to give up TV for a long time. It’s led me to learn about a war torn nation full of crying orphans, and to hear "mom" spoken with an African accent. Pursuing God fully has been wonderful but it hasn’t been easy. But at the end of the day I can honestly say, I wouldn’t want to live any other way.

What’s God leading you to do lately? I’d love to have you share your story by clicking on Lysa’s blog at Proverbs31.org.

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Not a Hint of Smoke

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope

When I was a kid, the carpet in our basement caught on fire, and filled our whole house with smoke! Boy did it stink! Hi, I’m Renee Swope with Proverbs 31 Ministries. It was so hard to get the smell of smoke out of our clothes and our furniture. We smelled smoke for weeks!

It reminds me of a time in the Bible when three men were thrown into a fiery furnace because they worshipped God instead of the King. God not only saved them from the fire, but when they came out of the furnace they didn’t even smell like smoke!

It makes me think about the fiery trials in my life. When I face hard times, do I come out smelling like smoke from bitterness and anger? Or do I come out smelling like a woman who trusts God? I love that God not only gets me through tough times, but He stays so close that I can come through them without a hint of smoke from some of life’s toughest fires!
For encouragement during difficult times, visit Proverbs31.org.

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Feeling Significant

Radio Hostess: Lysa TerKeurst
Contributing Writer: Lysa TerKeurst

Have you ever looked to others for significance and self worth? Hi, I’m Lysa TerKeurst for Proverbs 31 Ministries. I sure do wish they’d notice all that I do around here! I sure do wish someone would say something nice about me.

Ever been there? Me too. And when others didn’t say what I wished they would, it hurt. But the reality is, I can’t always depend on others to make me feel appreciated or significant. For me, I had to start admitting my feelings and asking God for His help. I knew that if I was really going to make lasting changes, I would have to read the truth in the Bible and talk to God in prayer on a regular basis.

And the more I've filled myself up with the truth that God loves me and notices all I do, the less I find myself needing others to validate that.

For more encouragement click on Lysa’s blog when you visit Proverbs 31 Ministries on-line at Proverbs 31.org.

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Clean House, Clean Heart

Radio Hostess: Renee Swope
Contributing Writer: Renee Swope and Tracie Miles

I was so tired of tripping over shoes, stray hangers, and dirty clothes! Hi, I’m Renee Swope for Proverbs 31 Ministries. After hours of sorting clothes and throwing out the junk, I stepped back to admire my clean closet!

I usually avoid cleaning as long as I can, but the more I neglect it, the worse things get and the longer it takes to clean up the clutter. And, you know, my heart can be the same way.

It’s easy to let impatience; unforgiveness and worry clutter up my heart. And the longer I let it stay that way the more of a mess I end up with in my thoughts and in my relationships. King David in the Bible knew where to turn when His heart needed de-cluttering. He asked God to give him a clean heart, and the desire to keep it pure. I love knowing that it’s not just up to me to keep my heart clean but I can actually turn to God for help!

For more encouragement from Proverbs 31 Ministries, visit proverbs31.org.

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